grow up and blow away

Today I'm in an absolutely rotten mood. I've got no good reason to be, but there are a few things that didn't help too much. Discussing with my friend where I'm going to go to university. He wants me to stay close, but he doesn't get that I don't want to be trapped here forever, you know? Then one of the girls I work with was saying things behind my back and then as a result of my frustration, I accidentally made a mess in the back room when I was emptying the mop bucket. Hnng.

I just really don't like people. Honestly, I would be content just to run away with my friend to California and live as hobos there. I don't want to worry about anything. I'm just so done. All I want in life right now is to cuddle with him. I think I need to talk to my psychiatrist about getting me on some stronger meds. Prozzakc doesn't seem to be cutting it for me. Maybe some Valium. That'd be nice. I'll do some research and see what I have to do to get on it.

I'm torn between wanting to die and wanting to be with him always.

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Personality Disorders

Just keeping track of my results.

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

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Walk Right Through Me

So school is back, and I'm slowly falling back into the routine of school, homework, then sleep. Except now I have to make work fit in now. Yup, I'm now employed! At Tim Hortons. I'm still getting the hang of it, so I try not to let it discourage me when I make a mess. Everyone I work with is super nice and they are all really forgiving. Even when I spilt cream everywhere! OTL. 

This semester is pretty heavy. I have English, chem, religion and then bio. It's not nearly as bad as next semester though. ;A; Next semester is: data management, French, calculus and then exercise science. I'm definitely thinking of getting out of calculus though!

It's my last year of high school, and they're getting rid of year 13, so I have next to no time to decide what I want to do with my life! I like studying people and how they work, but I don't like actually dealing with people! I used to want to focus on chemistry or biology, but now that I think about it, I really don't want to go into a serious science! 

Auuuugh! I think I'm going to take a career test so that I get some vague ideas about what I should do.

According to the test, I should be a nurse or a teacher. -___- I don't want to be either of those! ;A;

I guess I'll have to figure it out soon! University applications start in Nov/Dec. 

Here, have this beautiful cover of a beautiful song by a beautiful lady!

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~ Nothing special!

Just an entry for the sake of having an entry!
I haven't abandoned this blog!
Just.. forgot about it for a little while!
I'll fill this blog with more exciting things.. assuming exciting things happen!

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Dog Days of Summer

While I was never entirely sure what 'dog days' meant, I feel as though it suits how I feel anyway. I've been sitting on my butt most of the week because it's way too hot to go outside! As I don't have my license yet, walking is my only mode of transportation and I'm never desperate enough to get somewhere where I'd go out in the 30 degree weather! 

Last week my boyfriend took me out for our 8 months. We went to a local restaurant and I had a delicious chicken parmesean wrap. I was so excited to eat it, I forgot to snap a picture of it first! Woops! Haha, here's what I wore anyway. It's nothing special, I never feel like going all out for outfits anymore. ;~; 

Also, I did an awesome job of taking a crappy picture! orz

Aside from being lazy, this summer I've also started babysitting my three year old cousin. She's really adorable, but she's a strange one! We played My Little Pony and I was Rainbow Dash. B) It's a good way to save up money because everytime I go anywhere, there's something I want to buy! I'm trying really hard not to go into my money from my dad or from my bank account. ;~; 

I think maybe tomorrow I will go to Value Village and hope to find some nice clothes. Everyone else always has luck at second hand stores, but I never do! orz

Enough of this though, I'm going to go practice drawing for a little while. Here are some 'outfits' I took when school was in. I'm not sure why I post them, but I guess some people like school uniforms, right?

Of course, wearing my Docs in both pictures! I love them too much not to!

Also, in the black and white photo, I'm wearing a Ramones sweatshirt I got from H&M.

P.S. Look what's next on my Need-to-have list!

Not sure what colour I'd get though!

Anyways, see ya!

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Style Inspirations

While I'm procrastinating studying for my biology exam, I might as well make a blog post! c: Here are some pictures that have inspired my style.

Recently, I've really been liking:

• acid wash denim
• platform shoes
• black jeans
• and dark hair!

Shoes! ;A;

Her jacket! *o*

Sorry for the short post, but biology calls!

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The Beginning [?]

This evening I have made a rather impulsive decision to make yet another blog! But this time I will stick to it! I'll refrain from writing things that will embarrass future me, because that's usually why I end up deleting a blog.

I guess I'll start posting seriously when I finish my last exam, which is on Tuesday. I'll be posting about friends, fashion, food, etc!
 

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